Sister Site
Since a more personal blog such as this one is best suited to strangers or close friends, I started up a sort of “sister site” I can use to share my happy thoughts, aka. funny shit on the internet, with my general acquaintances.
It’s called “Things I Like…You Should Like Them Too.” Seriously – you should like it. (Link.)
An Atheist’s Moral Code
While I haven’t openly committed to atheism, I am quick to admit to not being religious; for this I have been told quite directly that I am “going to hell.” When I respond with “well, what if I don’t believe in hell?” I seem only to further open the gates to condemnation. So I appreciate The Godless Heathen‘s response to moral questioning:
Sometimes a Christian will ask me, “how can you be a moral person without God? What’s the motivation to live a moral life if you’re not accountable for it anyway? Where do your morals come from?”
The following is the author’s justification of his moral choices:
1. I don’t have a religious justification to hate gay people, so I don’t hate gay people.
2. I don’t have a religious justification to believe that women are inherently inferior to men, so I don’t believe women are inferior to men.
3. I don’t have a religious justification to not see a doctor when I’m sick, so I see a doctor when I’m sick.
4. I don’t have a religious justification to hate someone for having the “wrong” religion, so I don’t hate people because they follow a certain religion.
5. I don’t have a religious justification to deprive my children of truthful, frank sex education and the knowledge of safe and effective birth control use; so when I have a teenage daughter, she will be less likely to have sex too young, get pregnant, or get an STD.
6. I don’t have a religious justification to hate someone for being a member of the “wrong” race, so I am not a racist.
7. I don’t have a religious justification to support certain wars due to a belief that it will fulfill some sort of ancient prophecy, so I oppose needless death and destruction.
8. I don’t have a religious justification to strap a bomb to my chest and blow myself up in a crowded market, so I don’t strap a bomb to my chest and blow myself up in a crowded market.
9. I don’t have a religious justification to not care about climate change because “God would never let it get that bad before the end comes.”
10. I don’t believe that I have an eternal, joy-filled life waiting for me after I die, so I appreciate the value and sanctity of this one.
Knock Knock
Looking for some funny gifts for the holidays? Open your door to Glenn Jones’ pun-tastic, witty graphic t-shirt designs. They give me a chuckle.
For these and more, see the online store here.
My New Superhero is Obama Dog
The more I watch this, the more I laugh. I love this dog. I want to hug this dog.
Obamaaaa. (as seen on BoingBoing.)
Celebrities Don’t Lie
Okay, ignore the title. Just ch-ch-check it out and VOTE! November 4, baby.
Vote for what matters to YOU. And remember, JT can do anything. He was in a boy band, okay?
Send This To Your Mom Today
“The Mom Song” to the William Tell Overture (Anita Renfroe)
Get up now, Get up now, Get up out of bed
Wash your face, Brush your teeth, Comb your sleepyhead
Here’s your clothes and your shoes, Hear the words I said
Get up now! Get up and make your bed
Are you hot? Are you cold? Are you wearing that?
Where’s your books and your lunch and your homework at?
Grab your coat and gloves and your scarf and hat
Don’t forget! You gotta feed the cat
Eat your breakfast, the experts tell us it’s the most important meal of all
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall
Please remember the orthodontist will be seeing you at 3 today
Don’t forget your piano lesson is this afternoon so you must play
Don’t shovel, Chew slowly, But hurry, The bus is here
Be careful, Come back here, Did you wash behind your ears?
Play outside, don’t play rough, will you just play fair?
Be polite, make a friend, don’t forget to share
Work it out, wait your turn, never take a dare
Get along! Don’t make me come down there
Clean your room, fold your clothes, put your stuff away
Make your bed, do it now, do we have all day?
Were you born in a barn? Would you like some hay?
Can you even hear a word I say?
Answer the phone! Get off the phone!
Don’t sit so close, turn it down, no texting at the table
No more computer time tonight!
Your iPod’s my iPod if you don’t listen up
Where are you going and with whom and what time do you think you’re coming home?
Saying thank you, please, excuse me makes you welcome everywhere you roam
You’ll appreciate my wisdom someday when you’re older and you’re grown
Can’t wait till you have a couple little children of your own
You’ll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
But right now I thank you not to roll your eyes at me
Close your mouth when you chew, would appreciate
Take a bite maybe two of the stuff you hate
Use your fork, do not burp or I’ll set you straight
Eat the food I put upon your plate
Get an A, get the door, don’t get smart with me
Get a grip, get in here, I’ll count to three
Get a job, get a life, get a PHD
Get a dose of, ”I don’t care who started it! You’re grounded until you’re 36″
Get your story straight and tell the truth for once, for heaven’s sake
And if all your friends jumped off a cliff would you jump, too?
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said at least a thousand times before
That you’re too old to act this way, It must be your father’s DNA
Look at me when I am talking, Stand up straighter when you walk
A place for everything and everything must be in place
Stop crying or I’ll give you something real to cry about
Oh!
Brush your teeth, wash your face, put your PJs on
Get in bed, get a hug, say a prayer with mom
Don’t forget, I love you
And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom’s work never ends
You don’t need the reason why
Because, because, because, because
I said so, I said so, I said so, I said so
I’m the mom, the mom, the mom, the mom, the mom!!
Ta da!!!
A Cure For What Ails Ya
Since I’m always looking for ways to improve quality of life without swallowing gigantic horse pills or experiencing side effects, I’m interested in what I Dose has to offer. The website employs specific auditory stimuli as a method of achieving desired effects; among their musical ‘doses’ one can find a ‘cure’ for PMS, lack of focus, depression, pain, fatigue, and so on. How they claim to achieve this:
Binaural beats affect our brainwaves directly and can alter moods, behavior, even consciousness. Sound crazy? We thought so too. But guess what? We tried it and it works!
Other than streamed tracks and testimonials, there is not a lot to this site – yet. The fact is, there’s no harm in trying it, there’s scientific truth in the claim that music helps set the tone for your mood, and, last but not least, it’s free! I’m going to give it a shot, and if you choose to take it for a spin, comment on your experience below :)
Finicky About Facial Hair?
LOL. Can someone please try these out and send in photographs? At least try the ninja star.
Wait, I think I found an even funnier one. Actually, all of this guy’s YouTube postings have raised the bar on entertainment, so check out Ramillen’s videos in your spare time!
My sister liked it so much, she tried to perfect the Salmon Dance herself:
UPDATE: This blogger over at Dyers.org has tried out almost every beard type he can think of. Wicked cool.
About
Everybody’s got one. Hi – this is mine.
Permanent state these days…
I like to share things that interest me, make light of my most awkward moments, and help others learn from my experiences. Leave a comment!
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