I really enjoyed Stephen King’s novel Mist, but couldn’t possibly see how it could translate to film without coming off corny, with plain stupid special effects.
I eat my words.
The Mist does a great job of observing, not just imitating, the growing panic among members of a community trapped together when a strange mist encompasses them. Every time the door opens, somebody dies, so once a few Darwin awards are handed out they decide to stay put. Come nighttime, however, it becomes obvious that the …things on the outside can find their way in, and escape seems vital – but is it worth the risk? Two opposing camps form (the crazy lady and her religious converts versus the rational townsfolk: “Hey lady, I believe in God too – but I don’t believe he’s the bloodthirsty asshole you make him out to be”), and violence ensues.
There’s a lot of witty repartee amid the chaos. There’s some bitch-slapping and plenty nasty words exchanged (“The day I need a friend like you, I’ll just take a little squat and shit one out”). A bit o’ blood (a given). Sex (implied). Crazy creatures in the night that we actually get a good look at. A couple pretty ladies and a handsome leading man. Suspense. Conspiracy theory. Sacrifice. Guns. Punching. What more could you want?
The ending of the movie is spectacularly more depressing than that of the book. It’s a true mind-f***. You’ll be saying “damn, that sucks ass” for days.
It’s not a fast-paced film, so there’s not much more I can say – sans spoilers – other than, go for it. Keep a cuddly friend nearby, if necessary.
When Harry Potter came out, I resisted the “trend” for four whole years, simply out of spite toward trend-followers. I’ve never liked feeling like a herded sheep.
When Twilight came out, it only took my best friend, brother (straight!), sister (sixteen), and various Facebook status mentions to convince me it was worth the read. I fell in love with Edward Cullen along with every other female; twice, in fact, since I decided to re-read the book before the movie came out.
That being said, if you are a Stephenie Meyer or Twilight series fan first, do not see the movie. Butchered. Gah.
Yes, Robert Pattinson is somewhat dreamy, but he mangles the lines. The romance in the movie is ultimately laughable – corny, and completely unrealistic.
The female actress, Kristen what’s-her-face (ah, Stewart), shakes her face with every line – and there are a lot of close-ups.
That’s all I’m going to bother saying. Hollywood tried to cash in on Twilight’s fame while the going was good, and it disappointed hard.
So maybe it wasn’t Deliverance that made me want to learn the banjo (so much as avoid the woods), but it certainly introduced me to the first song I wanted to learned on it.
P.S. Deliverance got a shout-out on the newest episode of South Park (mediocre at best, I hate to say), s12e08: “The China Probrem” ;) Catch it around the 16:00 mark.
Even though there was nothing about the plot to particularly draw me toward this movie, the cast of My Best Friend’s Girl, with Dane Cook and Kate Hudson especially, told me it just might not matter what the heck the movie was about.
Dane Cook plays the asshole funny-guy in this movie, which is what we’ve come to expect from his comedy routines on dating (though opposite his creepy role in Mr. Brooks, a movie I have enjoyed over and over, and added to my personal collection). Kate Hudson, ever-adorable, plays the good girl letting loose in her first sexually-gratifying relationship – wait, Kate Hudson, letting loose? Cussing, kicking ass, sex? I am hetero and that turns me on.
The movie emphasizes the games that guys have to play to get the girl, and the plot rarely deviates from that of Will Smith‘s Hitch. The twist is that Dane Cook’s role doesn’t help improve the ‘game’ of his clients; he only makes their styles look brilliantly suave relative to his own asshole ways. In this sense, the females in this movie are portrayed as settling for guys that previously did not hold up to their ideals and standards. GREAT.
Of course, My Best Friend’s Girl includes the sappy happy ending that is ultimately necessary. Does the nice guy get the girl? Nope. No, he does not. Well, I guess the movie tries to mess with our concepts of ‘nice’ and ‘asshole’ just a little. Or, I guess, girls just like their bad boys.
Warnings left and right. “This movie offends.” “This movie sucks.” “Don’t bother.” “It’s…funny, yeah.” “Retard bashers.”
So, I was bored today, and I planned on catching a different movie. However, my favourite movie-going buddy was sick and my car was written off in the accident, so I had to catch a ride from my dad, who is pathologically late. I was late for my movie. 1-0 for Loner Karma.
The only choice left was Tropic Thunder, and I figured the cast alone warrants giving it a chance. When I purchased my ticket at the automated thingamajig, a free ticket for the movie I initially intended to see also came out. SWEET! But, I had no one to give it to, and scalping it would make me late for this movie, as well. Touché, Loner Karma, and pretty bitchy. 2-0.
Anyhow, I’m glad I saw it. Mother Nature isn’t the only one who pissed herself.
A few genius comedic stunts include the following (minor spoilers ahead, skip past list to avoid):
1. The opening of the movie, so seamless that you believe you are still watching theatre previews. Booty Sweat, Bust-a-Nut energy drinks…need I say more? (see bottom of post)
2. The director steps on a land mine and explodes (“pink mist,” for those who watch Grey’s Anatomy). A gang of hardcore, heavily armed drug lords are in the woods watching Ben Stiller lead his movie cast army. Ben Stiller thinks this is all a funny trick, and picks up the director’s head, shakes it around a little, pulls out some of the insides and licks them. Sticks the head on his gun. Yells some dumb shit. Kicks the head away: “I’m David Beckham!” The head drug lord fella says, bewildered, “These men do not fear death.”
3. Jack Black in his heroin addiction/withdrawal scene. YES. Gold.
4. Ben Stiller with his “son” on his back running from drug lords opening fire on his ass. He yells “I was wrong!” and turns, and his “son” is stabbing him over and over in the shoulder. He chucks the little man, and like a starfish, he spins over the bridge. Reminiscent of the burrito-dog encounter on the bridge in Anchorman. :)
5. The repetition of “You’ve got hands?!” as the characters meet up again in their escape from the jungle.
Some of the other gems (“What do you mean ‘you people’?” “…What do you mean YOU people?”) can be seen in the movie trailer at its official website here.
Okay, so there was a tad too much emphasis on the “retard” role and jokes, and most were not very funny and at least mildly offensive, but I had to giggle when Ben Stiller says, “There were some times where I actually felt like I was…retarded.” So very Zoolander of you!
So, there’s my two cents. Liked it, don’t think I’ll watch it again, might quote it sometime.
Where to start, where to start? Okay, first impression of this movie came from shiteous reviews at Rotten Tomatoes, but since I enjoyed The Invasion, I gave it a chance. Also, the trailer (below) seduced me. Anyhow, I just saw it in theatres.
I think I have new worry wrinkles. (No significant spoilers ahead.)
Half of me agrees with the reviews; there were some parts I just had to laugh at, like when Kiefer Sutherland‘s wife sobbingly begs forgiveness for not believing that the mirrors were after him. HILARIOUS. Also, the ultimate “explanation” for the events leaves my scientific self utterly dissatisfied.
Okay, so the plot has its weak points, but hell-ooo, a reflection that continues to stare evilly once you’ve turned your back? Creepy as shit. It only gets worse when you realize they’re all murderous assholes. I had to hug my legs to avoid grabbing the person next to me, and I’m serious about the worry lines – my eyebrows and forehead were scrunched up and I’m feeling a little stressed out.
For once, I didn’t call the ending – and it was super neat. Holy mind fuck. I won’t say why, if only because its impact, I suspect, is powerful only in the context of the movie. Anyhow, when the credits began to roll and the lights turned on, no one in the audience moved, or even seemed to be breathing, for a good thirty seconds. And I’m pretty sure they all had the same final thought as me:
While in university, I developed a personal movie collection that I can be fairly proud of. Whenever I see discount movies or “2 for $10″-type deals (Walmart is great for these), I spend a good deal of time browsing for that movie I can watch over and over. One more great reason to keep your VCR around – I don’t think I’ve paid more than $6 for a movie in years, and in many cases less than $3! VHS comes cheap, but if you wait long enough after a movie comes out, you can get a good deal with DVDs too. Below is my collection thus far, with stars next to the ones I recommend highly :)
I’m not usually creeped out by horror movies, and I am absolutely confident in saying that I enjoy them more than the average person. Since I was a kid, my mother and I have bonded over both scary movies and “scary” movies aka. the ones so corny you get more of a laugh than anything. That last group has, to us, been the majority. I know all the formulas down pat, and I’d say I’m a pretty disappointing movie companion for predicting the plot out loud and, for the most part, being right.
Tonight, my mom and I watched The Invasion (2007; click here for the description or scroll down for the trailer) with Nicole Kidman, based on the novel “The Body Snatchers” by Jack Finney, which was later adapted into a screenplay for the film Invasion of the Body Snatchers (The Invasion, however, takes a new twist on this plot, for those who might consider it too similar for viewing). This movie did not earn any stars and received terrible reviews from such trusted moviegoer websites as RottenTomatoes.com. If I had read the reviews before getting into the plot, I likely would have changed the channel.
So glad I didn’t.
If you can take an hour and a half of paranoia and nerves, preferably if you don’t have to walk two small dogs through a dark park at midnight afterwards, I suggest you give it a fair shot.
Since I posted the 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die, I will follow up with the top movie list I also found on kottke.org (also published elsewhere, origins unknown as far as I am concerned). As before, the movies I’ve seen will appear in bold, and those I plan on watching in the near future are in italics. Let me know if you have any other suggestions! These ones stop in 2003 and I’m a big fan of a ton of movies that have come out since…perhaps a new list is pending :)
A Trip to the Moon (1902)
The Great Train Robbery (1903)
The Birth of a Nation (1915)
Les Vampires (1915)
Intolerance (1916)
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1919)
Broken Blossoms (1919)
Way Down East (1920)
Within Our Gates (1920)
The Phantom Carriage (1921)
Orphans of the Storm (1921)
The Smiling Madame Beudet (1922)
Dr. Mabuse, Parts 1 and 2 (1922)
Nanook of the North (1922)
Nosferatu, A Symphony of Terror(1922)
Haxan (1923)
Foolish Wives (1922)
Our Hospitality (1923)
The Wheel (1923)
The Thief of Bagdad (1924)
Strike (1924)
Greed (1924)
Sherlock, Jr. (1924)
The Last Laugh (1924)
Seven Chances (1925)
The Phantom of the Opera (1925)
The Battleship Potemkin (1925)
The Gold Rush (1925)
The Big Parade (1925)
Metropolis (1927)
Sunrise (1927)
The General (1927)
The Unknown (1927)
October (1927)
The Jazz Singer (1927)
Napoleon (1927)
The Kid Brother (1927)
The Crowd (1928)
The Docks of New York (1928)
An Andalusian Dog (1928)
The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928)
Steamboat Bill, Jr. (1928)
Storm over Asia (1928)
Blackmail (1929)
The Man with the Movie Camera (1929)
Pandora’s Box (1929)
The Blue Angel (1930)
The Age Of Gold (1930)
Earth (1930)
Little Caesar (1930)
All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)
Freedom For Us (1931)
The Million (1931)
Tabu (1931)
Dracula (1931)
Frankenstein (1931)
City Lights (1931)
The Public Enemy (1931)
M (1931)
The Bitch (1931)
The Vampire (1932)
Love Me Tonight (1932)
Boudu Saved from Drowning (1932)
I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang (1932)
Trouble in Paradise (1932)
Scarface: The Shame Of A Nation (1932)
Shanghai Express (1932)
Freaks (1932)
Me and My Gal (1932)
Zero for Conduct (1933)
42nd Street (1933)
Footlight Parade (1933)
Gold Diggers of 1933 (1933)
She Done Him Wrong (1933)
Duck Soup (1933)
Queen Christina (1933)
Land Without Bread (1933)
King Kong (1933)
The Bitter Tea of General Yen (1933)
Sons of the Desert (1933)
It’s a Gift (1934)
Triumph of the Will (1934)
L’Atalante (1934)
The Black Cat (1934)
Judge Priest (1934)
It Happened One Night (1934)
The Thin Man (1934)
Captain Blood (1935)
Mutiny on the Bounty (1935)
A Night at the Opera (1935)
The 39 Steps (1935)
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
Top Hat (1935)
A Day in the Country (1936)
Modern Times (1936)
Swing Time (1936)
My Man Godfrey (1936)
Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (1936)
Camille (1936)
Sabotage (1936)
Dodsworth (1936)
Things to Come (1936)
The Story of a Cheat (1936)
Captains Courageous (1937)
Midnight Song (1937)
Grand Illusion (1937)
Stella Dallas (1937)
The Life of Emile Zola (1937)
Make Way for Tomorrow (1937)
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
The Awful Truth (1937)
Pepe Le Moko (1937)
Jezebel (1938)
The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)
Angels with Dirty Faces (1938)
Olympia (1938)
The Baker’s Wife (1938)
Bringing Up Baby (1938)
Stagecoach (1939)
The Story of the Late Chrysanthemums (1939)
Babes in Arms (1939)
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
The Wizard of Oz (1939)
Destry Rides Again (1939)
Only Angels Have Wings (1939)
Gone With the Wind (1939)
Daybreak (1939)
Gunga Din (1939)
Ninotchka (1939)
The Rules of the Game (1939)
Wuthering Heights (1939)
His Girl Friday (1940)
Rebecca (1940)
Fantasia (1940)
The Philadelphia Story (1940)
The Grapes of Wrath (1940)
Dance, Girl, Dance (1940)
Pinocchio (1940)
The Mortal Storm (1940)
The Bank Dick (1940)
Citizen Kane (1941)
The Lady Eve (1941)
The Wolf Man (1941)
The Maltese Falcon (1941)
Sergeant York (1941)
Dumbo (1941)
High Sierra (1941)
Sullivan’s Travels (1941)
How Green Was My Valley (1941)
The Palm Beach Story (1942)
Now, Voyager (1942)
Casablanca (1942)
To Be or Not to Be (1942)
Cat People (1942)
The Magnificent Ambersons (1942)
Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942)
Meshes of the Afternoon (1943)
Fires Were Started (1943)
The Man in Grey (1943)
The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp (1943)
I Walked with a Zombie (1943)
The Seventh Victim (1943)
The Ox-Bow Incident (1943)
Shadow of a Doubt (1943)
Ossessione (1943)
Meet Me in St. Louis (1944)
To Have and Have Not (1944)
Laura (1944)
Gaslight (1944)
Henry V (1944)
Ivan the Terrible, Parts One and Two (1944)
Double Indemnity (1944)
Murder, My Sweet (1944)
The Battle of San Pietro (1945)
Spellbound (1945)
Mildred Pierce (1945)
The Children of Paradise (1945)
Open City (1945)
The Lost Weekend (1945)
Detour (1945)
I Know Where I’m Going! (1945)
The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)
Brief Encounter (1946)
Paisan (1946)
The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946)
My Darling Clementine (1946)
The Stranger (1946)
Beauty and the Beast (1946)
The Big Sleep (1946)
The Killers (1946)
A Matter of Life and Death (1946)
Great Expectations (1946)
Notorious (1946)
Black Narcissus (1946)
It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)
Gilda (1946)
Monsieur Verdoux (1947)
Out of the Past (1947)
The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (1947)
Odd Man Out (1947)
The Bicycle Thief (1948)
Letter from an Unknown Woman (1948)
Secret Beyond the Door (1948)
Force of Evil (1948)
Spring in a Small Town (1948)
Red River (1948)
Rope (1948)
The Snake Pit (1948)
The Lady from Shanghai (1948)
The Paleface (1948)
The Red Shoes (1948)
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)
Louisiana Story (1948)
The Heiress (1949)
Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949)
Gun Crazy (1949)
Adam’s Rib (1949)
Whiskey Galore! (1949)
White Heat (1949)
The Reckless Moment (1949)
The Third Man (1949)
On the Town (1949)
Orpheus (1949)
The Asphalt Jungle (1950)
Rashomon (1950)
Winchester ‘73 (1950)
Rio Grande (1950)
All About Eve (1950)
Sunset Blvd. (1950)
Los Olvidados (1950)
In a Lonely Place (1950)
Ace in the Hole (1951)
A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)
Strangers on a Train (1951)
The Lavender Hill Mob (1951)
Pandora and the Flying Dutchman (1951)
The African Queen (1951)
Diary of a Country Priest (1951)
An American in Paris (1951)
A Place in the Sun (1951)
The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)
The Quiet Man (1952)
Forbidden Games (1952)
Angel Face (1952)
Singin’ in the Rain (1952)
To Live (1952)
Europa ‘51 (1952)
The Bad and the Beautiful (1952)
The Big Sky (1952)
High Noon (1952)
Umberto D (1952)
The Golden Coach (1952)
The Bigamist (1953)
The Band Wagon (1953)
Madame De… (1953)
From Here to Eternity (1953)
Tokyo Story (1953)
Roman Holiday (1953)
Wages of Fear (1953)
The Naked Spur (1953)
Pickup on South Street (1953)
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953)
The Big Heat (1953)
M. Hulot’s Holiday (1953)
Voyage in Italy (1953)
Tales of Ugetsu (1953)
Shane (1953)
Beat the Devil (1953)
Johnny Guitar (1954)
On the Waterfront (1954)
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)
Les Diaboliques (1954)
Animal Farm (1954)
Rear Window (1954)
A Star Is Born (1954)
The Barefoot Contessa (1954)
La Strada (1954)
The Seven Samurai (1954)
The Wanton Countess (1954)
Silver Lode (1954)
Carmen Jones (1954)
Sansho the Baliff (1954)
Salt of the Earth (1954)
Artists and Models (1955)
Guys and Dolls (1955)
Pather Panchali (1955)
Bad Day at Black Rock (1955)
The Mad Masters (1955)
Hill 24 Doesn’t Answer (1955)
The Ladykillers (1955)
Marty (1955)
Ordet (1955)
Bob the Gambler (1955)
Kiss Me Deadly (1955)
The Man from Laramie (1955)
Rebel Without a Cause (1955)
The Phenix City Story (1955)
Smiles of a Summer Night (1955)
Night and Fog (1955)
The Night of the Hunter (1955)
The Sins of Lola Montes (1955)
Forbidden Planet (1956)
The Burmese Harp (1956)
The Searchers (1956)
A Man Escaped (1956)
Written on the Wind (1956)
The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956)
Giant (1956)
All That Heaven Allows (1956)
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)
The Wrong Man (1956)
Bigger Than Life (1956)
High Society (1956)
The Ten Commandments (1956)
12 Angry Men (1957)
The Seventh Seal (1957)
An Affair to Remember (1957)
Wild Strawberries (1957)
The Nights of Cabiria (1957)
Throne of Blood (1957)
The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957)
The Unvanquished (1957)
Gunfight at the O.K. Corral (1957)
The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)
Mother India (1957)
The Cranes Are Flying (1957)
Paths of Glory (1957)
Sweet Smell of Success (1957)
Man of the West (1958)
Touch of Evil (1958)
Cairo Station (1958)
Gigi (1958)
The Defiant Ones (1958)
Vertigo (1958)
Ashes and Diamonds (1958)
Horror of Dracula (1958)
My Uncle (1958)
The Music Room (1958)
The 400 Blows (1959)
North by Northwest (1959)
Some Like It Hot (1959)
Anatomy of a Murder (1959)
Eyes without a Face (1959)
Ride Lonesome (1959)
Black Orpheus (1959)
Shadows (1959)
The World of Apu (1959)
Breathless (1959)
Ben-Hur (1959)
Pickpocket (1959)
Hiroshima Mon Amour (1959)
Rio Bravo (1959)
The Hole (1959)
Floating Weeds (1959)
Rocco and His Brothers (1960)
La Dolce Vita (1960)
Saturday Night and Sunday Morning (1960)
Shoot the Piano Player (1960)
The Adventure (1960)
The Young One (1960)
The Cloud-Capped Star (1960)
The Housemaid (1960)
Psycho (1960)
Revenge of the Vampire / Black Sunday (1960)
Peeping Tom (1960)
The Apartment (1960)
Spartacus (1960)
Splendor in the Grass (1961)
Last Year at Marienbad (1961)
La Jetee (1961)
One-Eyed Jacks (1961)
Lola (1961)
Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)
The Night (1961)
Jules and Jim (1961)
Viridiana (1961)
The Ladies Man (1961)
Through a Glass Darkly (1961)
Chronicle of a Summer (1961)
The Hustler (1961)
West Side Story (1961)
A Dog’s Life (1962)
Cleo de 5 a 7 (1962)
Dog Star Man (1962)
An Autumn Afternoon (1962)
L’eclisse (1962)
Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
Lolita (1962)
Keeper of Promises (1962)
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962)
What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962)
My Life to Live (1962)
Heaven and Earth Magic (1962)
The Birds (1963)
The Nutty Professor (1963)
Blonde Cobra (1963)
The Cool World (1963)
8 1/2 (1963)
Passenger (1963)
Contempt (1963)
Hud (1963)
Winter Light (1963)
Flaming Creatures (1963)
The Great Escape (1963)
Shock Corridor (1963)
The Leopard (1963)
Barren Lives (1963)
Mediteranee (1963)
The House is Black (1963)
The Haunting (1963)
An Actor’s Revenge (1963)
The Servant (1963)
Goldfinger (1964)
Scorpio Rising (1964)
The Umbrellas of Cherbourg (1964)
Marnie (1964)
My Fair Lady (1964)
Woman in the Dunes (1964)
Dr. Strangelove (1964)
A Hard Day’s Night (1964)
The Red Desert (1964)
Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors (1964)
The Masque of the Red Death (1964)
Before the Revolution (1964)
Gertrud (1964)
The Gospel According to St. Matthew (1964)
Black God, White Devil (1964)
The Demon (1964)
Vinyl (1965)
The Shop on Main Street (1965)
Doctor Zhivago (1965)
The War Game (1965)
Tokyo Olympiad (1965)
The Battle of Algiers (1965)
The Sound of Music (1965)
The Saragossa Manuscript (1965)
Alphaville (1965)
Chimes at Midnight (1965)
Repulsion (1965)
Juliet of the Spirits (1965)
Pierrot Goes Wild (1965)
Faster, Pussy Cat! Kill! Kill! (1965)
Golden River (1965)
The Man Who Had His Hair Cut Short (1965)
Hold Me While I’m Naked (1966)
Blowup (1966)
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (1966)
Daisies (1966)
Come Drink with Me (1966)
Seconds (1966)
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966)
Persona (1966)
Masculine-Feminine (1966)
Balthazar (1966)
In the Heat of the Night (1967)
Two or Three Things I Know About Her (1967)
The Graduate (1967)
Playtime (1967)
Report (1967)
Hombre (1967)
Belle de Jour (1967)
The Young Girls of Rochefort (1967)
Week End (1967)
The Godson (1967)
Cool Hand Luke (1967)
Point Blank (1967)
Wavelength (1967)
Bonnie and Clyde (1967)
The Red and the White (1967)
Marketta Lazarova (1967)
The Jungle Book (1967)
The Fireman’s Ball (1967)
Earth Entranced (1967)
Closely Watched Trains (1967)
Vij (1967)
The Cow (1968)
Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)
Planet of the Apes (1968)
Faces (1968)
Rosemary’s Baby (1968)
If… (1968)
Memories of Underdevelopment (1968)
The Producers (1968)
David Holzman’s Diary (1968)
Shame (1968)
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
Hour of the Wolf (1968)
Targets (1968)
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
My Night with Maud (1969)
Lucia (1969)
A Touch of Zen (1969)
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
Midnight Cowboy (1969)
Satyricon (1969)
Z (1969)
The Conformist (1969)
Easy Rider (1969)
High School (1969)
In the Year of the Pig (1969)
The Wild Bunch (1969)
Andrei Rublev (1969)
The Butcher (1969)
The Color of Pomegranates (1969)
Kes (1969)
Tristana (1970)
Five Easy Pieces (1970)
El Topo (1970)
Woodstock (1970)
Deep End (1970)
The Spider’s Stratagem (1970)
Little Big Man (1970)
The Ear (1970)
Patton (1970)
M*A*S*H (1970)
Performance (1970)
Gimme Shelter (1970)
Zabriskie Point (1970)
The Bird with The Crystal Plumage (1970)
The Garden of the Finzi-Continis (1970)
Wanda (1971)
W.R.: Mysteries of the Organism (1971)
A Clockwork Orange (1971)
The Sorrow and the Pity (1971)
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)
McCabe and Mrs. Miller (1971)
Walkabout (1971)
Klute (1971)
Harold and Maude (1971)
Red Psalm (1971)
Get Carter (1971)
The French Connection (1971)
Shaft (1971)
Dirty Harry (1971)
Murmur of the Heart (1971)
Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song (1971)
The Last Picture Show (1971)
Straw Dogs (1971)
Two-Lane Blacktop (1971)
The Heartbreak Kid (1972)
Aguirre, the Wrath of God (1972)
Cabaret (1972)
Last Tango in Paris (1972)
High Plains Drifter (1972)
Sleuth (1972)
Deliverance (1972)
Solaris (1972)
The Godfather (1972)
Cries and Whispers (1972)
Fat City (1972)
The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (1972)
The Bitter Tears of Petra Von Kant (1972)
Frenzy (1972)
Pink Flamingos (1972)
Superfly (1972)
The Sting (1973)
The Mother and the Whore (1973)
Badlands (1973)
American Graffiti (1973)
Papillon (1973)
Enter the Dragon (1973)
Mean Streets (1973)
The Long Goodbye (1973)
The Wicker Man (1973)
Day for Night (1973)
Don’t Look Now (1973)
Sleeper (1973)
Serpico (1973)
The Exorcist (1973)
Turkish Delight (1973)
The Spirit of the Beehive (1973)
Fantastic Planet (1973)
Amarcord (1973)
The Harder They Come (1973)
Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid (1973)
Dersu Uzala (1974)
The Conversation (1974)
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
The Mirror (1974)
A Woman Under the Influence (1974)
Young Frankenstein (1974)
Chinatown (1974)
Celine and Julie Go Boating (1974)
Blazing Saddles (1974)
The Godfather Part II (1974)
Ali: Fear Eats the Soul (1974)
Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia (1974)
Dog Day Afternoon (1975)
One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)
Jeanne Dielman, 23 Quai Du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles (1975)
The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
The Wall (1975)
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
Barry Lyndon (1975)
Fox and His Friends (1975)
India Song (1975)
Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975)
Manila in the Claws of Brightness (1975)
Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975)
Nashville (1975)
Cria! (1975)
The Travelling Players (1975)
Jaws (1975)
The Killing of a Chinese Bookie (1976)
Carrie (1976)
The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976)
All the President’s Men (1976)
Rocky (1976)
Taxi Driver (1976)
Network (1976)
Ascent (1976)
In the Realm of the Senses (1976)
1900 (1976)
The Man Who Fell to Earth (1976)
Star Wars (1977)
Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)
The Last Wave (1977)
Annie Hall (1977)
Last Chants for a Slow Dance (1977)
Stroszek (1977)
Man of Marble (1977)
Saturday Night Fever (1977)
Killer of Sheep (1977)
Eraserhead (1977)
Ceddo (1977)
The American Friend (1977)
The Hills Have Eyes (1977)
Soldier of Orange (1977)
Suspiria (1977)
The Chant of Jimmie Blacksmith (1978)
Five Deadly Venoms (1978)
The Tree of Wooden Clogs (1978)
The Deer Hunter (1978)
Grease (1978)
Days of Heaven (1978)
Dawn of the Dead (1978)
Shaolin Master Killer (1978)
Up in Smoke (1978)
Halloween (1978)
The Marriage of Maria Braun (1979)
Real Life (1979)
My Brilliant Career (1979)
Stalker (1979)
Alien (1979)
Breaking Away (1979)
The Tin Drum (1979)
All That Jazz (1979)
Being There (1979)
Kramer vs. Kramer (1979)
Life of Brian (1979)
Apocalypse Now (1979)
The Jerk (1979)
The Muppet Movie (1979)
Manhattan (1979)
Mad Max (1979)
Nosferatu: Phantom Of The Night (1979)
Ordinary People (1980)
Atlantic City (1980)
The Last Metro (1980)
The Shining (1980)
Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
The Elephant Man (1980)
The Big Red One (1980)
Loulou (1980)
Airplane! (1980)
Raging Bull (1980)
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
The Boat (1981)
Gallipoli (1981)
Chariots of Fire (1981)
Body Heat (1981)
Reds (1981)
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
Three Brothers (1981)
Man of Iron (1981)
Too Early, Too Late (1981)
Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1981)
E.T.: The Extra-Terestrial (1982)
The Thing (1982)
Poltergeist (1982)
Blade Runner (1982)
The Evil Dead (1982)
Tootsie (1982)
Yol (1982)
Diner (1982)
Fitzcaraldo (1982)
Gandhi (1982)
The Night of the Shooting Stars (1982)
A Question of Silence (1982)
Fanny and Alexander (1982)
A Christmas Story (1983)
El Norte (1983)
Videodrome (1983)
Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983)
The Big Chill (1983)
Sans Soleil (1983)
The Last Battle (1983)
Money (1983)
Utu (1983)
Terms of Endearment (1983)
The Fourth Man (1983)
The King of Comedy (1983)
The Right Stuff (1983)
Koyaanisqatsi (1983)
Once Upon a Time in America (1983)
Scarface (1983)
The Ballad of Narayama (1983)
Amadeus (1984)
The Terminator (1984)
Paris, Texas (1984)
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
Ghostbusters (1984)
A Passage to India (1984)
Stranger Than Paradise (1984)
The Killing Fields (1984)
The Natural (1984)
The Breakfast Club (1985)
Ran (1985)
Come and See (1985)
The Official Story (1985)
Out of Africa (1985)
The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
Back to the Future (1985)
The Time to Live and the Time to Die (1985)
Brazil (1985)
Kiss of the Spider Woman (1985)
The Quiet Earth (1985)
Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters (1985)
Prizzi’s Honor (1985)
Vagabond (1985)
Shoah (1985)
The Color Purple (1985)
Manhunter (1986)
Stand By Me (1986)
Blue Velvet (1986)
Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
She’s Gotta Have It (1986)
The Decline of the American Empire (1986)
The Fly (1986)
Aliens (1986)
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)
Down by Law (1986)
A Room with a View (1986)
Children of a Lesser God (1986)
Platoon (1986)
Caravaggio (1986)
Tampopo (1986)
Peking Opera Blues (1986)
Salvador (1986)
Top Gun (1986)
Sherman’s March (1986)
The Horse Thief (1986)
Brightness (1987)
Wings of Desire (1987)
Project A, Part II (1987)
Babette’s Feast (1987)
Raising Arizona (1987)
Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Withnail and I (1987)
Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)
Goodbye Children (1987)
Broadcast News (1987)
Housekeeping (1987)
The Princess Bride (1987)
Moonstruck (1987)
The Untouchables (1987)
Red Sorghum (1987)
The Dead (1987)
Fatal Attraction (1987)
A Chinese Ghost Story (1987)
Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown (1988)
The Vanishing (1988)
Bull Durham (1988)
Ariel (1988)
The Thin Blue Line (1988)
Akira (1988)
Cinema Paradiso (1988)
Hotel Terminus: The Life and Times of Klaus Barbie (1988)
A Fish Called Wanda (1988)
The Naked Gun (1988)
Big (1988)
Dangerous Liaisons (1988)
Grave of the Fireflies (1988)
Landscape in the Mist (1988)
The Decalogue (1988)
Die Hard (1988)
A Tale of the Wind (1988)
Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
Rain Man (1988)
The Story of Women (1988)
The Accidental Tourist (1988)
Alice (1988)
Batman (1989)
When Harry Met Sally (1989)
Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover (1989)
Drugstore Cowboy (1989)
My Left Foot (1989)
The Killer (1989)
Do the Right Thing (1989)
Roger & Me (1989)
Glory (1989)
The Asthenic Syndrome (1989)
Sex, Lies and Videotape (1989)
Say Anything (1989)
The Unbelievable Truth (1989)
A City of Sadness (1989)
No Fear, No Die (1990)
Reversal of Fortune (1990)
Goodfellas (1990)
Jacob’s Ladder (1990)
King of New York (1990)
Dances with Wolves (1990)
Europa Europa (1990)
Pretty Woman (1990)
Archangel (1990)
Trust (1990)
Close-Up (1990)
Edward Scissorhands (1990)
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1990)
Total Recall (1990)
Once Upon a Time in China (1991)
Boyz ‘n the Hood (1991)
Raise the Red Lantern (1991)
Delicatessen (1991)
A Brighter Summer Day (1991)
Naked Lunch (1991)
The Beautiful Troublemaker (1991)
The Rapture (1991)
My Own Private Idaho (1991)
Thelma & Louise (1991)
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
JFK (1991)
Slacker (1991)
Tongues Untied (1991)
Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse (1991)
The Double Life of Veronique (1991)
Strictly Ballroom (1992)
The Player (1992)
Reservoir Dogs (1992)
Romper Stomper (1992)
Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)
Unforgiven (1992)
Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)
Candy Man (1992)
A Tale of Winter (1992)
Aileen Wuornos: The Selling of a Serial Killer (1992)
The Crying Game (1992)
Man Bites Dog (1992)
The Actress (1992)
Farewell My Concubine (1993)
Thirty Two Films about Glenn Gould (1993)
Groundhog Day (1993)
Short Cuts (1993)
Philadelphia (1993)
Jurassic Park (1993)
The Age of Innocence (1993)
The Puppetmaster (1993)
Schindler’s List (1993)
Three Colors: Blue (1993)
The Piano (1993)
The Blue Kite (1993)
The Wedding Banquet (1993)
Three Colors: Red (1994)
Hoop Dreams (1994)
Forrest Gump (1994)
Clerks (1994)
Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)
The Lion King (1994)
Satantango (1994)
Natural Born Killers (1994)
The Last Seduction (1994)
Pulp Fiction (1994)
The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
The Wild Reeds (1994)
Chungking Express (1994)
Crumb (1994)
Heavenly Creatures (1994)
Through the Olive Trees (1994)
Riget (1994)
Dear Diary (1994)
Casino (1995)
Deseret (1995)
Babe (1995)
Toy Story (1995)
Strange Days (1995)
Braveheart (1995)
Safe (1995)
Clueless (1995)
Heat (1995)
Zero Kelvin (1995)
Seven (1995)
Smoke (1995)
The White Balloon (1995)
Cyclo (1995)
Underground (1995)
The Brave Heart Will Take the Bride (1995)
Dead Man (1995)
The Usual Suspects (1995)
The Pillow Book (1996)
Three Lives and Only One Death (1996)
Fargo (1996)
Independence Day (1996)
Secrets and Lies (1996)
Breaking the Waves (1996)
The English Patient (1996)
Gabbeh (1996)
Lone Star (1996)
Trainspotting (1996)
Scream (1996)
Deconstructing Harry (1997)
L.A. Confidential (1997)
Happy Together (1997)
Princess Mononoke (1997)
Fast, Cheap, and Out of Control (1997)
The Butcher Boy (1997)
The Ice Storm (1997)
Boogie Nights (1997)
Kundun (1997)
The Sweet Hereafter (1997)
Funny Games (1997)
Taste of Cherry (1997)
Open Your Eyes (1997)
Mother and Son (1997)
Titanic (1997)
Tetsuo (1998)
The Celebration (1998)
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
Buffalo 66 (1998)
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
Run Lola Run (1998)
Rushmore (1998)
Pi (1998)
Happiness (1998)
The Thin Red Line (1998)
The Idiots (1998)
Sombre (1998)
Ring (1998)
There’s Something About Mary (1998)
Magnolia (1999)
Beau Travail (1999)
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Taboo (1999)
Rosetta (1999)
All About My Mother (1999)
Three Kings (1999)
The Wind Will Carry Us (1999)
Audition (1999)
Time Regained (1999)
Fight Club (1999)
Being John Malkovich (1999)
American Beauty (1999)
Attack the Gas Station! (1999)
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
The Sixth Sense (1999)
The Matrix (1999)
Nine Queens (2000)
The Captive (2000)
In the Mood for Love (2000)
Ali Zaoua, Prince of the Streets (2000)
Gladiator (2000)
Kippur (2000)
A One and a Two (2000)
Requiem for a Dream (2000)
Amores Perros (2000)
Meet the Parents (2000)
Signs & Wonders (2000)
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
Traffic (2000)
The Gleaners and I (2000)
Memento (2000)
Dancer in the Dark (2000)
O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)
Amelie (2001)
What Time Is It There? (2001)
And Your Mother Too (2001)
Kandahar (2001)
Spirited Away (2001)
The Piano Teacher (2001)
The Son’s Room (2001)
No Man’s Land (2001)
Moulin Rouge (2001)
Monsoon Wedding (2001)
Fat Girl (2001)
Mulholland Dr. (2001)
The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
A significant proportion of this year’s frosh will be arriving with v-cards still intact (and with varying intentions regarding the persistence of this state). For others, sex is an old sport. Don’t let this fool you, though: university sex is an entirely different game.
There are different kinds of virgins. Mainly, there are those who are virgins by choice, and those who, well, are not.
Those of you in the latter group might idolize Jonah Hill and Michael Cera from Superbad as they contemplate their last high school party ever: “You know when you hear a girl saying, like, ‘Aww, I was so gone last night, I shouldn’t have slept with that guy!’? We could be that mistake!”
For you folks lookin’ to get lucky, the good news is this: the rumours are true. Whether you want to get laid or are anticipating your first time, university is for you, and so is this article.
However these experiences may come about for you, there are a few tips I can impart to minimize the degree of humiliation, awkwardness, or downright repulsion you experience in retrospect.
Though stereotypes can be faulty, we continue to use them because they save us time and effort. For this reason, I will employ just a few of these stereotypes to help you learn to identify your own intentions and—either for the purpose of attracting or avoiding a type—those of your potential partners this year.
The Exotic Hottie: This is how a coworker fondly referred to those international students who are new to Canadian culture and don’t yet realize that they are, in fact, total babes. If you’re not sure whether you fall into this group, watch out for unexpected special attention from those around you—and don’t forget to keep an open mind!
The Virgin Player: There are two variations of this, but they’re pretty easy to tell apart. The first is the player who acts like a virgin, usually identifiable by way of simultaneous stunning good looks and the speedy assertion that they want you to be their first. Swim at your own risk. The opposite, of course, is the virgin who acts like a player…although it eventually worked out for McLovin, so don’t knock it! Chica chica, yeeeeeah. (Okay, done with the Superbad references.)
The Selfish Lay: This person has the looks and can always be spotted canoodling with attractive others, but never seems to have a girlfriend.
You’ve also heard the stories. The “friend of a friend” kind.
It’s possible that this person has had many sexual partners but not a great amount of sexual experience with one in particular, resulting in a hush-hush reputation of being self-serving and just really not that good in bed. Talk to your friends.
The High School Hopeful: This person is playing the long-distance card with their hometown hunnie, and spends more time on the phone than at the bar…so actually, you might not even know they exist until Thanksgiving. If you fall into this group and don’t know the Thanksgiving rule, I am NOT about to burst your bubble. We’ve all been wrong about this before, though, so ignore the naysayers and all the more power to you. Just don’t miss out on the rest of the university experience!
The Slut: Both men and women may be referred to as sluts (I love the word manwhore!), but, similarly, both may be misidentified as such. The Slut is frequently seen hanging out one-on-one, perhaps in the night or early morning, with close, personal friends. Or, “close,” “personal” “friends.” Wiiiiink. Maybe they’re never actually spotted macking, but really, as if you can’t tell they’re doing it.
[As a warning, we all believe what we want in the end, so consider your own role in your judgments—this goes for all stereotypes! Therefore, beware the absolute application of this and other titles, unless you’ve heard it from the horse’s mouth, or else, to quote Russell Peters, “someone gonna get a-hurt real bad.”
The Sexual Friend: This person recounts their exciting sex stories to you without seeming embarrassed, which can be a hugely respectable thing to witness. Even if you can still find this person attractive at this point in the friendship, you probably haven’t crossed the line with them…yet. Wiiiink. They can be not only exceptionally entertaining, but also educational, so listen and learn, baby!
The Serial Monogamist: They don’t cheat, but they’ve dated, like, everyone. This person only has one girlfriend or boyfriend at a time, but moves on relatively quickly. Maybe they’re not into commitment; maybe they have some fatal relational flaw; or, maybe they just like to mix it up a little. The Serial Monogamist may show you a good time, but be sure your future expectations synch up before you get involved, or…someone gonna get a-hurt real bad!
The Bar Star: This person lives for the sociable, and seems to know everyone in school within a month. If you’re lucky enough to be legal age when you get here, you’ll figure this one out on your own…then again, it may take one to know one. See you at the Axe! ;)
The Frosh Week Splurger: Maybe this person is going to spend all of frosh week making out with every person they find mildly attractive, but this may just be their way of letting loose away from home—it’s a wait-and-see judgment.
Not the worst idea, really, if you plan on buckling down in school and want to get your mistakes out of the way early.
If you suspect you might fall into this category, beware the objects of your temporary affection. Floorcest may seem convenient at the time, but you’re probably going to see this person every day for the next year of your life.
So, welcome to ******! Get out there, stick to your morals, and enjoy! Please just remember to be safe and responsible in all that you do, and find out what your resources are on campus.
Let’s face it—if we all try hard enough this year, we could all be that mistake.
